17 January 2009

Lessons being learned

Thank goodness this week is over.

I had a rough week stress wise, and the later in the week it got, the worse it got. I was in such a mood yesterday that I was pretty much numb to everything. I couldn't really tell you what triggered the start of it, maybe it was school starting soon, or the economy, work, or fear of what the future will bring us with the changing of the guard in D.C. this next week and what kind of world my daughter is going to be brought up in. Whatever it was, I did not function as my regular sarcastic self. I don't like that feeling very much because I can not pinpoint what the trouble is. In the past, this would trigger a binge of eating everything that isn't nailed down. I did not do that. I even really pushed myself during my work out to help break the hold the mood had over me, but that didn't work either. Came home to a hum dinger of a fight with my favorite geek and ended up working out again (still no help) and hardly eating anything. That was topped off by my sleeping on the couch. Shouldn't that be the other way around? So I went to bed without eating all that much for the day and I woke up sick this morning.

I am starting to feel better and a little more like me. I am getting a little bit better about feeling my feelings instead of feeding them. I still don't like how they make me feel but at least I am trying to find a better way of dealing with them.

It really makes me wonder what I am going to be like as the weight comes off. Am I in the process of watching my outside change and figuring out what I am like on the inside too.

No comments: