18 February 2009
Well today is my WI day. I hit my first 10% ever. I nailed it right on the head. I was so excited I cried, and my daughter, bless her little heart thought I was hurt and was making sure I was okay. It's weird though, instead of focusing on how great that first 10% is, I am more daunted about the 2nd 10% that I am aiming for now. I even have to loose less weight to hit that 10% but it will put me in a zone that I have not been for awhile. I was thinking about this as I was updating my Weight Watchers profile. For some reason it seems like so much more weight than the first 10%. Maybe because I will be way closer to 200 pounds than 300 pounds, like when I started. I would like to reach my 2nd 10% before 17 May 2009 when I am doing a half marathon with Joseph. I guess I better buckle down and get working.
The whole problem with this weight loss thing is the mind games it causes. Those are the worst. Maybe I will be the same person once I get down to my goal weight, but I am really doubting it. Hopefully I will be a better person when I get to goal, not because I am thinner, but because I am wiser. I will have to have beaten all of the mind games that are related to emotional eating. I will have to have figured out where to put the extra energy that I spent eating and worrying. Or even better, hopefully I will not have as much to worry about. For some reason though, I really don't see that happening either...
04 February 2009
One of my friends Heather coerced me into getting a Facebook account. She coerced me into a MySpace account that I let close. Facebook on the other hand, I have already reconnected with two friends from high school. I even posted pictures on it! And you all know how I feel about pictures. So thanks Heather for getting me out of my comfort zone. I do need to get out of my shell more, especially since it's getting smaller!
Last night I decided to be a good little taxpayer and get my 2008 taxes done. Aren't you all proud of me? I love just hopping on line and taking care of business. Now if my refund will come quickly I will be a much happy camper.
Well people, it's been fun chatting but the life of a parent never ends. Time to get ready for dancing school and errands. Have a wonderful day everyone!
01 February 2009
And why would I be excited about this? I have absolutely NO idea. Maybe because I actually have done it two months in a row. Joseph says he can see a difference, but me, I don't think I look any better. Of course we are our own harshest critics. I think he just says there is one to keep me happy or at least not in tears. Some days he is a really smart man.
I went shopping today to find a new outfit for the fellowship applicant interviews that happen on Tuesday. This is my first round of them and I am pretty excited. I went to good old Lane Bryant found a size 20 skirt and it was actually pretty loose, found a blouse to match looked good felt fab I had dropped a size! Or well so I thought. When the saleswoman was scanning the skirt, I saw the inside tag. My heart sank it was a 24. No wonder it was so loose. It's no secret, especially with the picture you are seeing that I carry the bulk of my weight in my midsection. I just wanted to cry. I did find a true 20 that I could even zip but it was not very flattering. I ended up not buying anything. It's hard to not let something like that deter me but I can't let it.
It's hard to look at this picture even. I am one of those people who never saw themselves as big as I actually am. And I am down almost 25 pounds in this picture. I know that I have said at least to others if not here that I hate it when people treat me differently when I show a decent weight loss. I think its starting again but I am not 100% sure. I have always said I am the same person at 270lbs as I am at 210lbs or whatever. Now I am not so sure. I am still intelligent, sarcastic and quick witted. (And soooo humble) I am not feeling that I am the same. I will have to just wait and see who I will be when the weight comes off. I hope I like that person as much as I liked the woman at 270lbs.
We all have a crutch when we are lacking somewhere else. Mine is that I am the funny fat girl. I am the hard worker who always goes over the call of duty (again with the humility I tell you...) But it was a shield I hid behind or what I had to do to prove that I was not lazy because of my weight. There will come a day that I won't have to prove myself... or will I always be the funny fat girl?